How about actually wearing my t-shirt collection?

This Godmachine piece was the first of about 20 illustration based t-shirts I purchased between the beginning of 2008 and 2010. I actually own two ladies sizes of it; small (ordered by accident) and a repurchased large. Purchased with the intent of losing about 15kg, allowing me to wear it, I ended up putting that amount on. So essentially I've amassed close to twenty t-shirts that have been enthusiastically purchased, but never worn.

'The Ram' is my favourite of all of them, and I will be first wearing the large and small versions of it this year.

Amy vs. Amy 2012

This is not a New Year's Resolution. I held off posting for a little while because it might have been seen as another "fat person posting a weight loss goal in the new year". So here I am, maintaining my sense of humour, and putting this out there.

I've been pondering the weight loss issue for 4 or 5 months now. My new(ish) job involves early starts and a decent amount of travel time. I tried walking, but it bores me, I always get home in the dark and don't feel safe walking around. The gym near my house didn't open early enough or stay open late enough, which left me trying to lose weight mostly through dietary changes (and we all know how much I love cheese). I lost a few of those extra "April in Goulburn" kilos, but I reached the point in December where I knew I needed to ramp it up.

Plans, goals and support system are up. An Anytime Fitness (24hr gym) opened near my house, and right next door to my work - so there is no excuse. I've got 26.5kg to go, having lost 3.5kg since starting a couple of weeks ago. The exercise is going very well, and the portion control is mostly too - so at an average of a kilo per week I will be at my goal in July. It's definitely time to kick my own backside.

For updates, you can follow a bunch of people on Twitter with the hashtag #fitterbytwitter (join in) or call my best friend who I am boring the crap out of with exercise text messages.

Sleep

It sounds funny, but it's nice to actually want to go to sleep every night. I've spent a considerable amount of time avoiding sleep because I didn't want to do whatever I had to do the next day. Hello sleep, I've missed you.

Hello

I've had a couple of days in bed with a silly cough, and after having spent most of yesterday and a good chunk of today sleeping, the time between breathing and gasping for air is increasing. One realises the last part of that sentence could feature on Encyclopaedia Dramatica, but we shall move on, with your deepest sympathies one assumes.

It's been a rather busy month with my new job and the general social activities a newly 28 year old partakes in. These activities are coming to require a longer recovery period, but rather than blame on age, I'll choose to cite my unaddiction to Diet Coke as the cause. It feels good to not be sucking down the acidic nectar all the time, but if I start talking about how I don't like cheese any more, please, for the love of the Australian Dairy Industry call a doctor.

On the whole I am having fun living at home again and I'm only occasionally missing a few things that come along with living by yourself; loud music, cooking and not having to announce to every one that you're about to have a shower. Seriously, fear of being caught naked is an underrated phobia. I'm not going to be like Tobias, but I can see how things like that can happen.

While I am comfortable and well fed, I'll be excited to moving out next year once I'm fully settled in my job and have taken my US trip. I've been looking at a few sharing situations to get an idea, but I've got some time up my sleeve.

I'm looking forward to my birthday celebrations with friends, meeting new people and continuing on this happy little path I'm on. Nonni made it her 2011 commitment to find me a cool boyfriend*, but has come up short, so I'm employing other tactics, like writing self deprecating blog posts and lying in bed.

Besides the sunny outlook, the important issues I've been contemplating show that not much has changed. Has my hair been cut too short? Do I really need another business shirt? I can has cheeseburger? Has all this coughing starved my brain of oxygen? Answer to all is possibly.

*I've been informed recently that this is not her 2011 commitment

La Blogotheque

I keep an eye out for La Blogotheque's channel on YouTube as they have great series of live performances from some great musicians under the title 'A Take Away Show'.

Clean Slate

Two months ago today, I was readying myself for that last week of work before I moved back home. Procrastipacking up my belongings, and being constantly amazed at how much I'd managed to accumulate in two and half years. What I didn't sell, I ended up giving away; out of sight, out of mind. So many things amassed in a life that I had merely been existing in.

Merely existing is not a state of mind I'd like to ever revisit. You reluctantly go to bed each night, forced only by stubborn, heavy eyelids. When you awake, it is with a sense of dread for the day to come; you long for the evening again. Having been lowered to that level of thinking, everything seems impossible, and you don't think you'll be able to rise above it with any kind of ease.

It leaves if you want it to, that mindset. I left it behind in a cloud of dust as I was driven back home that fine Tuesday afternoon. A wave of relief, elation and joy swept over me; my well overdue decision to leave unequivocally justified. It was, for me, that easy.

I took some time, approximately three weeks, to relax, decompress, and to just enjoy the rediscovered happiness I now found myself feeling. Of course the realisation that I could not forever be a lady of leisure set in, and I begun the task of applying for jobs. I was lucky, two weeks was all it took. Two interviews and one design project later, I was offered a fantastic job with a fantastic company, which I accepted unreservedly.

Having just completed my first week there, I can say that it is indeed the job I had not even allowed myself to dream of getting at this stage in my career. Lovely working conditions combined with fun, passionate, intelligent colleagues makes for a great way to spend my day. There's a whole other industry to learn about, and my brain is grateful for the challenge.

Has my decision to stay in a place that made me deeply unhappy been vindicated because of where I am now? The jury is out on that one; but I do know that I would never take back the small handful of friendships I made in that final year, despite how miserable I was.

I'm not back to my old self. I feel better than that.